Why Texas is the Best State in America
Opinion: Texas Is the Greatest, and That’s a Verifiable Fact
Look, I ain’t sayin’ Texas is perfect. I’m just sayin’ if it ain’t, then perfection ain’t worth much. Texas is the biggest, boldest, most free state in the union, and anybody who says otherwise is probably from California (which means their opinion don’t count). There are exactly three reasons Texas is the greatest place on Earth, and if you don’t agree, well, that’s just further proof that I’m right.
First, we got space. Lots of it. Too much, some might say, but that’s just ‘cause they don’t understand what freedom feels like. You ever stretch out on a ranch so big you need a full tank of gas just to visit your neighbor? No? That’s ‘cause you live in some sad little state where folks think a "backyard" is a 10x10 patio. In Texas, your backyard is measured in acres, and your closest neighbor is at least one county away. That’s how God intended it.
Second, Texas knows how to handle the heat. You might say, “Billy, it’s 110 degrees in the shade, and the pavement just melted my boots.” To which I say, “Good. Builds character.” Air conditioning is for the weak. If you can’t handle a little sweat, maybe you should go somewhere where the climate’s more suited to delicate folks, like Oregon or Canada. Texans don’t complain about the heat—we embrace it, just like we embrace rattlesnakes, tornadoes, and questionable chili recipes.
Third, and most importantly, Texas is free. And I don’t mean the kind of "freedom" where you still gotta ask permission to do things. I mean real, honest-to-God, do-whatever-you-want freedom. You wanna drive a truck that gets 5 miles to the gallon? Go ahead. Want to open carry a bazooka in a grocery store? Who’s stoppin’ you? Want to fry a stick of butter, wrap it in bacon, deep fry it again, and serve it on a stick at the state fair? Not only can you, but you’ll probably win a ribbon for it.
So yeah, Texas is the best, and if you disagree, that’s fine. Just don’t let the door hit ya on the way back to whatever tiny, over-regulated, overpriced state you crawled out of. We’ll be over here, drinkin’ sweet tea, watchin’ the sun set over the greatest land in America.
Billy is a lifelong Texan, rancher, and firm believer that anything can be solved with grit, a good pair of boots, and at least three forms of meat on your plate.
